


canceling the apocalypse

by oryx



Category: Danball Senki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Developing Relationship, Gen, M/M, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oryx/pseuds/oryx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gouda gets a new Jaeger and a new copilot. He's not particularly fond of the latter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's 5 am and i'm a little drunk so pls excuse any typos  
> also wow i rly need to stop starting new things and finish the old ones instead  
> (couldn't resist this one tho. tiny robot kids in the giant robot universe!! hell yeah!!)

The alert comes in at 6:12 in the morning. Hanzou groans as he’s jolted abruptly into wakefulness. Why, he asks himself, does the alarm have to be so fucking loud? That pulsing, foghorn-esque wail could easily wake the dead. He lies there and yawns repeatedly for a time before rolling out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a weary sigh. It’s still dark – fucking winter, he thinks, as he trips over the boots he stupidly left in the middle of the floor.

 

He stumbles over to the light and flips it on, and he’s halfway through tugging on his pilot suit when he realizes that Ren is nowhere to be found.

 

His bed is made, blankets tucked in just so. The walls on his side of the room, which just yesterday had a few pieces of tasteful artwork and photos decorating them, are now strangely bare. Frowning, Hanzou walks over and tugs open Ren’s dresser drawer. It’s empty and spotlessly clean, as if he had never been there at all. Hanzou blinks and takes a confused step back.

 

“Ren?” he calls. He wanders over to the bathroom and peers inside, but finds it empty as well. Ren’s toothbrush is missing from its holder. “Seriously, man, you lurking somewhere? We gotta go.”

 

He receives only silence in response, and feels a kind of odd anxiety set in, then, curling tight and hot in the pit of his stomach.

 

They say you just _know_ when something is wrong with your copilot. They say you can feel it desperately, like a part of you has been torn away.

 

Hanzou stands there for a moment, pulse quickening, then barrels out into the hallway and starts to run.

 

.

 

.

 

Takuya’s eyes darken as soon as Hanzou starts explaining. He and Yuusuke exchange a significant glance.

 

“Get a message out across the base,” Yuusuke says quietly to his aide, Sae. “Any sightings of Hiyama Ren are to be reported directly to me. If he is not found by twelve hundred hours, he is to be officially reported missing and a search party is to be formed. It’s unlikely, but we cannot rule out foul play. And get Shikano Kinji into mission briefing as soon as possible. He’s not even close to a perfect match, but he’ll have to make do as Hiyama’s replacement – ”

 

One of the mechanics bursts into the room, then, face red and breath coming quick. “U-Uzaki-san,” he gasps. “G Rex is – it’s… Fuck, I just – I don’t even know how this happened.” He drags a hand across his face, looking almost on the verge of tears. “Nobody saw anything, the security cameras were shut off by someone on the inside, there’s no footage, no evidence, it’s all just – ”

 

“Calm down,” Yuusuke says, with that authoritative note to his voice that makes people sit up and listen. He walks over and takes the harried mechanic by the arm. “What is wrong with G Rex?”

 

“Everything,” the man murmurs, stricken. “God, it’s _ruined_. Millions of dollars worth of damage, sir. Coolant systems offline, suspension shot, turbine falling to pieces, stabilizers completely destroyed, and the core – fucking hell, you don’t even want to know what they did to the core. This is _sabotage_ , sir. I just… I don’t understand – why would someone do this? Why would they…”

 

Hanzou feels like he’s been gutpunched. The clamor of anxious voices around him suddenly seems rather distant. That’s his Jaeger. His and Ren’s. It’s a part of him, a necessary component, like an artificial heart or a prosthetic limb. Hearing the damage report is almost physically painful.

 

Yuusuke’s face is rather pale. His lips are pressed together in a thin line.

 

“Sae,” he says, and to his credit his voice barely wavers. “Shikano Kinji’s services are no longer needed. G Rex is officially out of commission. We’re sending out the new recruits.”

 

“…What?” Hanzou says. His voice echoes hollowly in his own ears. “What the _fuck_ , Yuusuke? They’re green – they’ve never fought a kaiju in their fucking lives and you’re just gonna throw them out there with no backup in front of a… what? A category three?? I can still fight! Just put me and Kinji in a different machine – ”

 

“And risk some kind of rejection?” It’s Takuya that speaks, now, and his words are cold, impassive, yet brimming with underlying tension. “You’ve never operated a Jaeger other than G Rex, Gouda. And you’ve been with a much more experienced copilot this entire time. Putting you in a new machine with a different drift partner – without any practice, might I add – would be far more dangerous than relying on the newbies. And they’re going to have to get some experience at some point. Might as well be now.”

 

Yuusuke nods his agreement and promptly begins barking out orders. “Minerva D needs to be ready to launch in t-minus ten minutes,” he shouts. “Ran and Jessica can be briefed via comm. The target is currently at fifteen miles offshore and approaching slowly, which is the closest to a blessing that we’re going to get. Any hand who is not currently occupied should lend support at the maintenance deck…”

 

Halfway through, Hanzou stops listening. There’s a strange droning sound in his ears. He can hear himself breathing and it’s too damn loud.

 

“What the hell is this?” he whispers, not meaning to speak aloud. “Where is he? Why would he just – ” A terrible thought occurs to him, then, and he turns toward Takuya slowly. “You don’t think… he’s the one who…?”

 

Takuya’s jaw is clenched tight, fists curled at his side. He refuses to meet his eyes.

 

“…No way,” Hanzou says, answering his own question. He laughs and it sounds stilted and fake. “No fucking way, right? What the hell am I saying? Ren would never – there’s no reason! You’d have to be insane to fuck up a Jaeger like that, much less your own. And if he was planning something I would’ve known. It’s not like you can keep secrets in the drift. I would’ve known.”

 

“…Really?” Takuya says quietly. Hanzou almost doesn’t hear him. “You think you know everything about him?” It’s his turn to laugh, now; an incredulous, bitter sound. “Hiyama could choose what he brought into the drift, Gouda. He worked for years to master that kind of control. You think you know his deepest secrets, but you never saw anything more than he wanted you to see.”

 

Hanzou stares at him. He can’t quite believe what he’s hearing, and yet all the same there is a small voice in the back of his mind saying _oh, now it all makes sense, that inexplicable distance between us that I always felt, the way he’d smile and I’d have no idea what he was thinking even though I should have, I should have_.

 

“That’s… that’s impossible,” he says desperately. “Nobody can ‘choose what to bring into the drift.’ Stop lying to me, Takuya.”

 

But Takuya just shakes his head and turns to walk away, a grim set to his features.

 

“I know you’re making shit up, okay?” Hanzou shouts at his retreating figure. “I know all about you and him! Isn’t that something he would’ve hidden if he could? Wouldn’t he have – oi! Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

 

But the door is already sliding shut behind Takuya, and Hanzou is left standing in the middle of the hectic control room, a sudden tiredness pressing down on his shoulders as the adrenaline of earlier begins to fade.

 

So this is it, he thinks.

 

Ren is gone. G Rex is little more than a useless heap of scrap metal.

 

It’s all over.

 

.

 

.

 

Ran and Jessica manage not to die. That’s impressive enough as it is – a newbie team up against a category three, and yet they don’t get themselves killed instantly? Luck like that is almost unheard of. And not only do they not die, but they manage to hold the damn thing back long enough for reinforcements from Hong Kong to arrive. He would’ve congratulated them afterwards, if he weren’t so fucked in the head from all this bullshit with Ren and G Rex. As it were all he feels is resentful. He watches Yuusuke shaking both their hands and wonders if he’ll ever be in their place again. Wonders if he’ll ever even set foot in a Jaeger again. Most likely not, he thinks. Back in the Academy they told him he was ‘special.’ That he had a kind of ‘innate intensity’ that made him hard to match. He brought too much emotion and energy into the drift, they said, and anyone he tried to pilot with usually ended up in a bad place, chasing rabbits way too deep, trapping themselves inside memories for days on end. Back then, he thought he’d never be part of the Jaeger program. Until Hiyama Ren – cool and collected, always in control in the drift, and Hanzou’s hero since middle school, honestly, though he’d never admit it out loud – entered his life.

 

But now Ren’s MIA (the search party has thus far yielded nothing, not even the smallest lead) and it’s like the rug has been pulled out from under Hanzou’s feet. What is there for him, if not piloting? It’s been the only thing on his mind for so long that he can no longer remember anything else. Did he dream of other things, as a child? Did he ever consider a different life? He tries to imagine being a normal civilian – hiding in shelters during kaiju attacks, unable to fight back, unable to do much more than cower in fear – and almost feels like throwing up. How could he go back to that, after the things he’s seen? The things he’s done?

 

Days pass, and he exists in a kind of listless fog. Rico and the guys take him out for drinks, and he knows they’re trying to cheer him up by their overly-casual chatter, their too-loud laughter and willingness to spend more than usual. But the way they stare at him when they think he’s not looking sets his teeth on edge. They’re looking at him warily, he thinks. Like he’s a ticking time bomb or something, like they’re just waiting for him to explode.

 

Even Yamano-hakase’s son tries to cheer him up, which is weird ‘cause he’s rarely spoken to the guy before. He takes a far less subtle approach than the Devas, sliding into the seat opposite Hanzou in the mess hall and smiling brightly. It takes Hanzou a moment to remember his name. Ban? Yeah, Ban. Real bookish looking kid (though Hanzou’s only two years his senior; he’s not sure he’s earned the right to call anyone ‘kid’ just yet), with thick-rimmed glasses and a sweatervest and hair that seems to go in every direction.

 

“You shouldn’t worry about it so much,” Ban says, shaking his head emphatically. “When it comes to drift compatibility you are a bit different than most people, but statistically speaking,” and here he gestures with his fork, “the chances of finding another match for you is somewhere around forty-three percent. …Or at least I think so? I’m a bit new to this whole Jaeger research business.” He laughs sheepishly. “My father could probably give you a more accurate estimate. Or… you could always go to Kazama Kirito? He has ways of finding drift compatible people that Shatterdome technology can’t hope to match.”

 

“…Kirito?” Hanzou echoes. He raises an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I can afford that. And I’m pretty sure he’s running some kinda scam. I knew a girl in the Academy who went to him. Had to fork over her whole life savings just to find her perfect copilot.” He frowns thoughtfully around a spoonful of supposedly-vanilla pudding. “Turned out to be some unlisted guy in, like… Qatar. I don’t think he ever existed, honestly. _She_ never met him, that’s for damn sure. She ended up in Russia drifting with some chick she barely matched with. …Hate to say I missed her funeral, but. Well.”

 

Ban’s eyes are suddenly very wide behind his glasses. He’s not just new to Jaeger research, that much is obvious. He’s new to life in a Shatterdome as well – unaccustomed to horror stories and battle scars and broken people. It’s obvious that he’s never lost anyone close to him in a kaiju attack. He’s innocent.

 

Hanzou studies him from across the table and wonders how long that will last.

 

.

 

.

 

It’s been three weeks since Ren’s disappearance and Hanzou hasn’t gotten his ass kicked out of the barracks yet, which he takes to be a somewhat reassuring sign. He’s still on the payroll, too. That’s something. (Or maybe they’ve just forgotten to take him off.)

 

It’s the middle of the night when someone pounds on his door. He starts, heart jackhammering away in his chest. He wasn’t asleep – sleep has been eluding him lately – but it’s not like you expect things like that at two in the fucking morning. He staggers to the door and peers through the peephole to see Takuya looking just as solemn as always, the dark circles beneath his eyes more pronounced than ever.

 

“I found someone new for you,” he says, as soon as Hanzou opens the door.

 

“…Huh?”

 

“Someone new,” he repeats. “Someone most likely drift compatible. His flight from Sydney just landed. Get dressed and come with me.”

 

Hanzou stares at him for a minute, disbelieving. And then he hurries to throw on some pants and jog after him, surreptitiously pinching himself to make sure this isn’t some kind of dream. In the elevator there are a hundred questions running through his mind, but in the end he settles on:

 

“This guy… What was he doing in Sydney?”

 

“It was an experiment, of a sort,” Takuya says. “Trying to find a copilot who could handle him. Unfortunately it fell through, like all of his past partnerships. He’s like you, Gouda. Not _exactly_ , of course. There are a few minor differences. But mostly, your problems are the same – you both have a tendency to overwhelm your partners. Before, the idea of putting two people with such… _presence_ together was inconceivable. You’d never be able to find balance. But his personal mechanic recently made some changes to his machine that she claims will assuage this issue. And with few options left for either of you, we’ve decided to try it out.” He looks sidelong at Hanzou. “If you are suited to each other, you could end up being our most powerful weapon in this war.”

 

The elevator grinds to a halt and the door slides open, and Hanzou steps into the mission briefing room with anticipation burning hot beneath his skin.

 

There are four people at the table – Yuusuke and Sae and the new arrivals, mystery man and his mechanic, who seem to be siblings, if the similar hair colour and face shape are anything to go by. They both have those intelligent eyes, that pale skin, those sharp, well-defined features. The girl seems rather approachable, though, while the man… He’s leaning back in his chair with a faint scowl curving his lips, fingers drumming on the table top. When Hanzou walks in he glances up and raises an unimpressed, perfectly-arched eyebrow.

 

“ _This_ is the reason you dragged me all the way back to Japan?” he says.

 

“Indeed,” Yuusuke says. “There’s no guarantee, but we think we may have finally found someone suited to you. With the assistance of Kiyoka’s technology, of course.” He nods at the girl, who smiles faintly and nods in return.

 

Hanzou steps forward and plasters on an awkward smile. “Ah, hey,” he says, holding out a hand. “Gouda Hanzou. Good to meet you.”

 

Mystery man blinks up at him for a moment, then slowly rises from his seat. His hair is long and sleek, Hanzou notices, tied back in a low ponytail. Not a look he sees often on Jaeger pilots.

 

“Sendou Daiki,” he says with a sneer. He doesn’t bother gracing Hanzou with the honor of a handshake. “Let me make myself clear, _Gouda-san_ : I don’t particularly want to drift with you. And most likely, you won’t enjoy drifting with me. No one I’ve ever partnered with has been able to stand being in my head for more than an hour, and despite Yuusuke’s claims otherwise I strongly doubt that _you_ ,” and here he looks Hanzou up and down with distaste, “will be the person to break that record. So let’s not even bother with pleasantries. We probably won’t be acquainted for much longer anyhow.

 

“Although,” he continues, “I suppose I should make sure before I write you off completely. Let’s see, now.” There’s something between his fingers, suddenly – a card of some sort, with complex designs decorating the back, though where he pulled it from is impossible to say. He looks at it and begins to smirk. “Ah yes. The Tower. It can mean ‘separation,’ in case you’re unaware. I’m afraid we will soon be parting ways, Gouda-san. And to think, we only just met! How _terribly_ unfortunate.”

 

He laughs callously and rolls his eyes, and sidesteps around Hanzou, motioning for his sister to follow. She gives Hanzou an apologetic look before complying.

 

Hanzou listens, absently, to the sound of their footsteps. He hears the clang of the elevator doors behind them. But still he remains fixated in that spot, hand still outstretched, his forced smile gradually slipping away.

 

“Well, that went about as well as I thought it would,” Yuusuke sighs, but his voice sounds oddly far away. Blood is beginning to pound in Hanzou’s ears. He looks down at his hand, watching it curl into a white-knuckled fist, feeling his nails digging sharp into his skin. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.

 

Before this is over, he knows, he is going to punch that fucking smirk off of Sendou Daiki’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which jin is raleigh, yuuya is yancy and ban is mako ;o

There’s still a week until the ETA for his and Sendou’s Jaeger, and though he’s not looking forward to getting inside that jackoff’s mind he can’t exactly deny his own impatience. There’s another alert on Tuesday – a category two, this time, sighted twenty miles out from Akita. Another slow mover, thankfully, which gives Minerva D time enough to get airlifted in. He watches the fight on the holoscreen in the control room. His fingers drum restlessly against his thigh as Minerva D throws a swift left hook that a doesn’t quite hit its mark.

 

“Use your sword,” he mutters under his breath, and winces when Ran and Jessica break out the particle dispersal cannon instead, their shot going wide and barely scratching the kaiju’s tough skin. They get thrown back into the water and his foot starts tapping out a nervous rhythm against the floor.

 

Having two newbies as Japan’s last line of defense is stressing him the fuck out.

 

They do manage to beat the thing down, in the end. It takes them almost an hour, and they’re both dead on their feet by the time they get back, leaning into each other and smiling wearily as a cheer goes up around the loading dock. Their first solo kill. It’s the moment every Academy cadet dreams of.

 

“Good work out there,” Hanzou shouts over the low roar of voices, and both of them seem to stand taller at his words, their eyes brightening. They’ve got potential, that much is obvious. They’ve got that boundless tenacity that sets great pilots above the rest.

 

But all the same, he’ll be glad to see them demoted to backup.

 

(Watching new recruits die on the front lines isn’t his idea of a good time.)

 

.

 

.

 

He spends the rest of the week avoiding Sendou Daiki at all cost.

 

Maybe it’s not a particularly brilliant strategy. He has to get used to the guy at some point, right? It would be smarter to talk to him, to spend some time around him, perhaps even find out why he’s such a raging bag of dicks. But Hanzou just can’t bring himself to be around the man. Whenever he sees him at the end of a hallway he purposefully turns and walks the other way. (Which is _not_ the same as running away. It’s just… self-preservation of his mental faculties. Or something. Also, his resolve to punch Sendou in the face has not wavered, and he’d rather it be later rather than sooner. Once they’ve killed a few kaiju together Takuya will be less likely to chew him out over a teensy little beatdown.)

 

Thursday afternoon he sees Sendou coming out of the training hall, and with nowhere else to run Hanzou hurriedly slips into the infirmary. He’s giving Sendou the evil eye through the crack in the door when a small voice behind him says “oh!”

 

“Gouda-san, are you here to visit someone?”

 

He turns to see Haibara Yuuya smiling at him. _Fuck_ , he thinks. With everything that’s happened lately he’d forgotten all about Yuuya being in the infirmary, forgotten all about that disastrous mission almost two months ago.

 

“Yeah,” he lies smoothly, and forces a grin. “Here to see you, of course.”

 

He feels bad, but way Yuuya’s eyes light up eases the guilt a bit. Probably just made the poor guy’s day. He pulls up a chair next to Yuuya’s bedside and takes a seat.

 

“Sorry I haven’t come by much,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’ve been kinda preoccupied with, uh… other things.”

 

Yuuya’s eyes widen. He’s so much paler than Hanzou remembers him being, wan and sickly under the too-bright lights. His hands are folded in his lap and his wrists are like thin, brittle twigs. “Oh no, please don’t concern yourself. That is perfectly reasonable. I heard about,” and here he lowers his voice to a whisper, “about Hiyama-san. I’m so sorry. I never would have thought him capable of something like that…”

 

Irrationally, Hanzou feels anger prickling at his skin. “What are you talking about?” he says, his words clipped and harsher than he intends. “Don’t tell me _you’re_ gonna start with that shit, too. There’s no evidence against him, Yuuya. There’s nothing putting him at the scene, not even a fingerprint, he wouldn’t have – ”

 

He breaks off. Yuuya looks absolutely mortified, lifting his hands as if in surrender.

 

“Of course, of course,” he says quickly. “I shouldn’t have implied – that was very rude of me. Other people have been saying those things and I let them colour my judgment. My apologies.”

 

“…No,” Hanzou sighs. He scrubs a hand across his face tiredly. “Fuck, I’m the one who should be apologizing. All this shit has got me way too keyed up.” He swallows hard. “And as much as I hate to admit it, those people are probably right. It’s all way too suspect to be coincidence. It’s just… my first instinct is to defend him, y’know? He’s my copilot.”

 

“Yeah,” Yuuya says softly. “Yeah, I understand.”

 

They make harmless small talk for a while – the medical staff are apparently quite prone to gossip, as Yuuya seems to know more than Hanzou does about all the promising new cadets and whose partnerships are falling apart and who’s sleeping with who – until suddenly he says:

 

“Have you… have you spoken to Jin lately?” His tone is casual, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “He hasn’t stopped by in several weeks. I do hope he isn’t ill… He’s the type who pushes himself to work even when he’s feeling poorly.”

 

“Ah… no,” Hanzou says, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. “I’ve passed by him a few times in the halls and he didn’t look sick to me, so I wouldn’t worry about that. But we haven’t actually talked in a while. Different schedules, I guess. He… really hasn’t been to see you in that long?”

 

“Oh, it’s entirely understandable,” Yuuya says, waving a hand like he’s brushing away Hanzou’s concerns. “He is probably very busy. Finding a new copilot is stressful for anyone, even more so for someone as special as Jin. I’m sure you understand, Gouda-san. You are rather special, too.”

 

“So they keep telling me,” Hanzou mutters. Yuuya laughs softly and reaches over to pat his hand. His fingers are cold as ice.

 

“Although,” Yuuya murmurs, “someone _has_ been visiting me while I’m asleep, I think. I wonder why they never come during the day? They always leave books behind for me. Historical fantasy novels.” His brow furrows. “…Strange, that they would know what kind of books I like best.”

 

Hanzou desperately wishes, in this moment, that he had slipped into _any_ room other than the infirmary. He clears his throat awkwardly, glancing over at the clock and feigning a sound of annoyance.

 

“Shit, man, I’m sorry,” he says, smiling apologetically as he gets to his feet. “I really gotta go. Had no idea it was this late. My new copilot is a raging douchebag and he’ll probably harp on me forever if I keep him waiting. You feel me, right?”

 

“Oh,” Yuuya says. Disappointment flickers across his face, but he smoothes it away just as quick. “No, no, that’s quite alright! I understand completely. …Is your new partner really that awful?”

 

“Ugh, yeah. Like you wouldn’t believe, dude. Rather throw myself in the fucking bay than drift with him. But hey, Yuusuke flew him in all the way from Sydney, so I guess I’m not allowed to complain.”

 

“Goodness.” Yuuya blinks up at him, startled and owlish. From this angle his eyes look eerily sunken, his cheeks gaunt and hollow. “I do hope you two manage to reconcile. Japan could use another Jaeger team right now. We’re down to just one at the moment, aren’t we?”

 

“Yeah… I hear Vampire Cat’s team is due back soon from their stint in L.A., but that might not be for another two months or so.” He sighs. “So I guess I have to make it work with this guy. ‘For the common good’ or whatever.”

 

“I wish you luck with that,” Yuuya says earnestly. “And I really shouldn’t keep you any longer. You did say you were going to be late, yes?”

 

“Ah, right, yeah,” Hanzou mutters. Multiple bald-faced lies to sweet, adorable little Haibara Yuuya in the span of thirty minutes. God, he feels like a tool. “I’ll, uh… I’ll stop by again soon, okay? Smuggle you some booze or something?”

 

Yuuya laughs. “Sounds good. And… Gouda-san, if you don’t mind me asking a favor? Could you find out how Jin’s search for his new copilot is going? If Uzaki-san has found any good candidates for him, I mean? I suppose I’m rather invested in the outcome.” He smiles sadly, then, and his eyes go all distant as he stares down at the end of his bed, at the flat stretch of white sheet where his legs should be. “I hope they find someone wonderful for him. Someone much better than me.”

 

Hanzou is paused at the door. He stands there in silence for a time, gripping the door handle tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

 

“…Yeah,” he says finally. His voice wavers. “Yeah, I’ll ask around for you.”

 

(As he leaves, he finds himself wishing that the kaiju that took Yuuya’s legs was still alive.

 

Because then he could suit up, he could go out in his new Jaeger with his new asshole copilot, and he could kill that bitch himself.)

 

.

 

.

 

He finds Kaidou Jin in a rather familiar situation – cornered by one of the Board of Directors’ weaselly-faced toadies. He seems to be attempting to extract himself politely from the man’s presence, but is having little luck shaking him off.

 

“Oi,” he calls, walking over and inserting himself bodily between Jin and the man, pointedly ignoring his outraged _ex-excuse me, sir, this is a private conversation!_ “I’m gonna go get a beer. You’re coming with.”

 

Jin raises an eyebrow. “Am I?”

 

“Yep. No dissension allowed. We’re going now, just so you know.” Hanzou takes Jin by the arm and maneuvers him away from the huffy little man with the bad toupee, who is beginning to look rather red in the face. He tries to follow after them, but halts mid-step when Hanzou turns to fix him with a leering smile, cracking his knuckles threateningly.

 

“Pl-please consider what we discussed,” he shouts instead. “Mister Worthen would be most grateful if you would agree to fund…”

 

His words fade away as Hanzou and Jin turn the corner. Hanzou glances over at him and hums sympathetically, noting the sharp, irritated fall of his footsteps.

 

“After your money again?”

 

“…It would seem that way, yes. My monthly donations are apparently not enough for them.” He frowns – though it’s hard to tell, set as it is against his usual somber expression. “I would gladly hand over the entirety of my assets if I believed they were going to be used in a purposeful manner. But unfortunately I have my reasons to doubt the Board’s fiscal responsibility. Their most recent ideas on how to reduce Jaeger energy costs were… alarming, at best.”

 

Hanzou laughs. “The Board making asses of themselves? Wow, what a fucking surprise.” He reaches out to clap Jin on the shoulder. “You got it rough, dude. Looks like you might need a drink more than me. You’re lucky I came along when I did.”

 

“Oh, of course,” Jin says. There is a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You came across me purely by coincidence. No hidden intentions at all behind asking me out for a drink.”

 

“None whatsoever,” Hanzou says, flashing him a winning smile, and Jin shakes his head as he follows him into the elevator.

 

.

 

“So why the fuck haven’t you been visiting Yuuya?”

 

Jin pauses, gin and tonic halfway to his lips. A shadow passes across his face. “I don’t believe that’s any of your concern, Gouda.”

 

“Really? ‘Cause I may not know him like you do, but I happen to like him pretty well. I consider him a friend, one might say. And the person in that bed? Is not the guy I used to know.” Hanzou leans a little closer across the bar, eyes narrowed and voice intent. “Fucking hell, Jin, he’s wasting away over there. He’s so lonely it made me lonely just lookin’ at him. Maybe you’ve got good reasons for staying away, but honestly, I don’t give a shit either way. You _need_ to go talk to him.”

 

Jin’s grip on his drink tightens visibly. The line of his jaw is taut with tension.

 

“Plus,” Hanzou continues, “he’s figured out it’s you bringing him those books. Which has gotta be a nice feeling. Being purposefully avoided and all that. …Geezus, Jin. What’re you, a dumbass? No one else would know what kind of trashy novels he likes to read.”

 

For a time Jin remains silent. And then, quietly, he says:

 

“I’m not like you, Gouda. Your issues in the drift… It’s because you’re too strong. Your memories are all so vivid and your emotions are all so raw and the average pilot can’t handle that kind of intensity. That kind of sheer potential. Me, though… I am not innately extraordinary. I am just… odd. My stats have never matched anyone else’s. Yuuya is the closest I’ve ever come to a perfect partner, but even then something was always _off_. I’m not sure if he felt it, but I did. I felt it every time we drifted. Like… a door separating us. And no matter how hard I tried I could never get it open.”

 

Hanzou understands what he’s saying all too well. He looks down at the beer in front of him and drains the rest of it in a single swig, trying desperately to focus on the topic at hand, to steer his mind away from thoughts of Ren.

 

“It’s my fault,” Jin continues. His voice is even softer, now, and Hanzou has to lean in to hear him. “If I weren’t this way… If I weren’t so abnormal, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I keep thinking: ‘if I had just acted a moment quicker.’ If I’d been able to respond to his thoughts in time, what might have changed? That one-second delay between us was because of me – because of that door I could never get through. It’s my fault, in the end. And the worst part is that he’ll never blame me. I doubt he even blames the kaiju. …It’s himself that he blames. It’s _always_ himself.”

 

“Shit,” Hanzou mutters. He gestures to the bartender to bring him another drink. God knows he’s gonna need it. “Listen, man. I get it. I’d probably feel the same, if I were you. But… you know it’s not _actually_ your fault, right? Like, logically?”

 

Jin says nothing, and Hanzou sighs, barely resisting the urge to reach over and smack him upside the head.

 

“Fine, whatever. You’re doing him more harm than good, is what I came here to say. There’s just… There’s some people you can’t leave alone like that, yanno? Even if it’s ‘for the best.’ ‘Cause some people… you leave ‘em on their own long enough and they start to wither away like a dead plant or some shit. That’s Yuuya. You should know that better than me, Jin.”

 

“…I’m starting to think,” Jin murmurs, “that I don’t actually know much at all.”

 

They sit there in silence, then, morosely sipping their respective drinks, until a voice from behind them calls out “Gouda-san!” Hanzou peers over his shoulder to see Yamano Ban approaching, weaving through the crowd, smiling in that easy way of his (though there’s a faint edge to it now, if Hanzou looks close enough; the guy must be wizening up to Shatterdome life quicker than he’d expected). He’s thankfully traded in the sweatervest for something a little less adorable.

 

“Hey,” Hanzou says. “You old enough to be here?”

 

Ban laughs. He’s got a drink in hand as well – a rum and coke, by the looks of it. “Very funny,” he says. “You know how old I am.” He turns to Jin and extends a hand. “Yamano Ban. I’m... assuming you know my father? Everyone else around here seems to. I just assist him with his research now and then.”

 

Jin nods. He reaches out to return the handshake and ends up gripping Ban’s hand a moment longer than necessary, a contemplative set to his features as he studies Ban’s face. (Hanzou observes the exchange and raises an eyebrow.)

 

“Kaidou Jin. I’m – ”

 

“Oh, I definitely know who you are,” Ban says, laughing once more. “And it’s good to meet you finally. You’re rather famous around here. They call you ‘The Emperor’ down in the research labs – did you know that? Because you’re the best Jaeger pilot in Japan.”

 

“That’s debatable,” Hanzou mutters, and is soundly ignored.

 

“‘The Emperor’?” Jin echoes. “That is a rather grandiose nickname… And I am by no means the greatest pilot in Japan. Hiyama Ren is far more deserving of that title than I.”

 

Hanzou’s fingers curl tight around the neck of his beer bottle. He grits his teeth. Somehow, hearing Ren praised is a thousand times worse than hearing him slandered. _Probably because he’s a dirty fucking traitor,_ says an angry voice in the back of his mind, and he hates how _right_ it sounds.

 

“Hiyama-san…?” Ban’s eyes widen. “I-I see. I knew he was a talented pilot, but I guess I’ll always think of him as my father’s intern above all else. He was so nice to me back then. I wonder… I wonder why he would – ”

 

He’s cut off as a flush-faced girl in wobbly heels staggers drunkenly into him, knocking him forward. Jin reacts before Hanzou can so much as blink. His left arm loops around Ban’s waist, steadying him, and he somehow manages to pluck Ban’s drink from his hand right as it begins to tip, salvaging all but a few drops.

 

“Are you alright?” he asks softly. Ban manages a startled nod from where he’s pressed against Jin’s chest. He pulls back and his face is a bit red as he thanks Jin for his quick reflexes.

 

Hanzou stares at them. Quick reflexes are one thing, but that… that was something else entirely. Something damn near bordering on precognition.

 

“Hey, Ban,” he says slowly, a strange idea occurring to him. “You ever thought about being a pilot yourself?”

 

“…Me?” Ban blinks, looking rather taken aback. “Well I’m sure I considered it once or twice. Everyone wants to be a Jaeger pilot as a kid, y’know? But in the end I’m just… not really cut out for things like that. Behind the scenes is a little more my speed.”

 

“You sure about that? ‘Cause this guy,” he jabs a thumb in Jin’s direction, “is searching for someone new to drift with. They’re doing another test on Monday, trying to find a partner for him. You should drop by. I mean… you never know til you try, right? Could be a match made in heaven.”

 

Ban agrees with a hint of amusement in his voice, like he thinks it’s all a joke, and says his goodbyes as he spots his friends across the bar. As he walks away, Jin glances over at Hanzou sharply.

 

“Oi, don’t give me that look,” Hanzou says. “It’s only a hunch, but… I think I may have just found you a copilot.”

 

.

 

.

 

Saturday arrives, and with it comes the cargo ship from Sydney.

 

“Sendou,” he says brusquely, and nods in his general direction, standing as far away from the guy as possible without looking like he’s keeping his distance.

 

“Oh, so you’re still here?” Sendou drawls. His lip curls in distaste and good god, Hanzou has never wanted to strangle someone more than he does in this moment.

 

“… _What_? Of course I’m still fucking here! Who the hell else is gonna drift with your sorry ass?”

 

“They always find someone,” Sendou says. He sounds bored, mostly, but there is also bitterness buried deep down. Hanzou scowls and opens his mouth to say something biting in return, but is interrupted by the loud mechanical whir of the loading dock doors as they begin to open. It’s breezy this morning, to say the least, and the wind whips through the doors almost immediately, cutting through him and chilling him to the bone. But even that is quickly forgotten when he gets his first glimpse of the Jaeger being hauled in.

 

Hanzou cranes his neck to look at the thing and takes a sharp breath. He’s seen it before, on tv and in holo-projections. But neither of them really did it justice. That gleaming black and red armor, polished to a shine but unable (and perhaps disinclined) to hide the wear and tear from the teeth and claws of countless kaiju. Those viciously spiked fists that he knows are actually lightning fast in a fight, each punch delivering a shockwave through their target. Those powerful legs that can outmaneuver many of the smaller, supposedly-quicker models. That core – darkened now, but soon to be pulsing with energy once the systems are online, its blasts capable of searing through solid bone.

 

“Nightmare Dogma,” Sendou says, and there is a hint of reverence in his voice. “Last of the Mark Fours.” He looks over at Hanzou and raises an eyebrow. “Come on, _Gouda-kun_. Time to suit up. Let’s hope I didn’t come all the way here for no reason.”


End file.
